It’s true. While most people stash drinks in the consoles of their cars, I’ve got an empty mug… and my Benylin.

I actually haven’t taken cough syrup since I was a kid (I’ve sure never *bought* any); as an asthmatic, if I get a cough, I just accept it.

But this is stupid—I mentioned to you a WEEK ago that I had a cold. Well, in most respects, I feel fine right now… except for a croupy, hacking, fear-of-god-or-at-least-the-plague-inducing cough. People are afraid to be around me (and I don’t really blame them), but neither can I afford not to be running my errands and getting work done.

Hence, the Benylin. The pharmacist assured me that there was evidence that supports that it really does help suppress coughing… I’m still not sure. And I’m slightly choked that this might eat into my attempt to get abs of diamond from coughing so hard, but one must remain polite society, mustn’t one?

My little malaise knocked me out too much to blog earlier this week (is it “feed a cold, starve a fever”? Oops.), so at long last, here’s my story.

I don’t like to lose. I like a fair fight, and I’ll lose graciously if I must, but I don’t like it.

I sometimes sign up for blog giveaways and think, “shur. Whatev.” But there was this one a while back, when I thought, “oh! Pick ME! YES, please!! ME ME ME!”

I didn’t win.

Well, so be it, but this time I wasn’t going to take defeat lying down… I took to my kitchen and began trying to cobble together my own version of the prize I had been teased with. All it took was a little internet searching and I was off to the races!

I’ve made this 4 times now. The first and third were absolutely the best—the second was bland and the last is too nutty, but I would have to say that this is like sex or chocolate (depending on who you are): even when it’s “bad”, it’s not BAD! In fact, it’s quite good! Yay!

I’d like to take credit for this… but the idea is from someone else, the ingredients are from someone else’s idea, and all I did was mix well and serve. I still play around with proportions, but, ladies, may I introduce you to a better (nut) butter spread?

hey look! It’s my first photo from my new camera!

Chocolate Almond Butter Spread

*Note: Depending on how sweet or how much you want to taste the almond butter, you might want to increase the sweetener or nut butter—those have turned out to be the biggest variables so far. Also, using the darkest, most decadent (yet unsweetened) cocoa powder is key. I like Bernard Callebaut, but whatever makes our heart sing works.

You need:

∞ 1 cup almond butter
∞ 1 cup plus 3 Tbsp pumpkin purée
∞ 1/2 cup cocoa powder
∞ 2 Tbsp maple syrup (I’ve also used honey… maple is better!)
∞ 1 tsp vegetable oil
∞ 70 g finely chopped dark chocolate

You must:

≈ put almond butter and 1 cup of pumpkin purée in a stand mixer and combine well.
≈ in another bowl, mix cocoa, maple syrup, pumpkin purée and oil, stirring to make a nice paste. If it’s a bit crumbly still, add another tablespoon of pumpkin to get a good, pasty consistency.
≈ add cocoa mixture to the stand mixer, and give it another good beating to incorporate all the ingredients well. I don’t think you can beat too long, and the more you beat, the smoother the end result.
≈ add chocolate bits to the mixer and mix to distribute evenly.

I portion this out into 3 containers, pop one in the fridge for immediate use and the others go in the freezer until it’s time. I think that’s just best, since I don’t seal them hermetically…

Why I love this spread: I have pumpkin protein pancakes for breakfast most days… and I like a little chocolate spread on top for some healthy fat to keep me full for, oh, five hours? Remember my cupboard full of Peanut Butter & Co products? Dark Chocolate Dreams is my fave, but at almost $6 per, I wasn’t loving the price. And it’s a bit more sugar than I wanted… my recipe lets me lower the caloric density (not that I’m counting, but I’ve also upped the fibre by adding the pumpkin: whee!) AND the sugar, AND the cost. So: win, win, WIN! I tried it side-by-side with the last bit of a Dark Chocolate Dreams jar this morning:

I only made it through about 1/3 of this (stupid cold!), but the one at 9 o’clock is the Peanut Butter & Co, and the others are my nut butter spread. I like the PB & chocolate combo taste of the PB&Co, when trying them side by side… but I think if I used PB instead of AB, I’d have that nailed.

So: try it, and let me know what you think!

PS: my oldest friend in the world is racing in her first Half Ironman tomorrow—the Ochsner Ironman in New Orleans. I’m SO EXCITED for her, so if you want to stream it (like I am!) and cheer her on remotely, she’s bib 603, she’s Tara, she’s AWESOME, and look for her to come out of the water fast… she’s also a former national swimmer. Go, T!

That’s a book title. And a movie, with John Cusack. He’s enjoyable. Grosse Pointe Blank is hilarious. I actually quoted the part about egg white omelettes when I met two buddies for brekkie a few weeks ago. It wasn’t intentional, just… relevant.

This is also what I’m calling what I’m up to this evening: I’m baking. And I’m leaving it behind in Tara’s freezer, as proof that my summer of Van happened…

It’s called “midnight” because there’s a good chance that she’ll be up in the middle of the night feeding her babela—and she might want a nosh. And she might choose “good” (the recipes I’m healthifying) or “evil” (the recipes that are just great fun, which someone with officially THE lowest normal BMI when not pregnant or 8 seconds away from giving birth can partake of occasionally guilt-free! ). And “garden” is for… well… West Van, which is kinda rain-foresty.

I took a sinfully delicious recipe for Figgy Buckwheat Scones from Kim Boyce’s Good to the Grain, which was reproduced on 101 Cookbooks in April. I made it, I almost died, and… I haven’t stopped thinking about it since!

If you can spare the fat and calories, ooh-la-la, that is one tasty treat. OR…….. you can try my healthified version!

The original recipe had 655 calories, 33g fat, 5.7g fibre, 38.5g sugar, 6.3g protein per scone (if my calculations are right)… for 45% fat. This was its royal gorgeousness… which I made at Easter, and you’ve seen it before.

That was all well and good, but then I tried to simply replace the cream with buttermilk to make sweet, sweet baking magic. And… FAIL.

What you can’t tell from this pic is that it’s moving. It’s actually creeping across the counter on the way to the floor… because it wasn’t dough, but more like pancake batter. Ick.

That was last night… tonight, I tried something different. My massage therapist actually gave me the best suggestion EVER this afternoon (which I didn’t try, but I will…): she said “what about cottage cheese?”

Good question! In the future, I might try blitzing some 1% and switching it out with the heavy cream…

This time around, though, I surfed and found a recipe on Chowhound.com, and modified it a touch to suit my needs. The end result still had that lovely crunch that I thought had come from the cream-butter-dough… I’m not usually this happy to be wrong!

My healthified version has… 328 calories, 11g fat, 5.6g fibre, 16.2g sugar, 7.4g protein, for 30% fat. Woo-hoo!

So I’m stoked about reducing the fat content, and at half the calories and sugar, it’s a change I feel good about. If we’re serious about good and evil, I think I’d put it on the good side of evil—the kind of thing that I don’t want to be eating these days, but at the same time, if you’re gonna, it’s a good way to go…

Healthier Buckwheat and Oatmeal Fig-Pocket Scones

(modified from the Kim Boyce recipe found at 101 Cookbooks)

Make the fig butter according to the recipe found here EXCEPT! Instead of mixing in 113g of butter at the end, stick to 1 tbsp.

Scone Ingredients:

Dry ingredients:
3/4 c AP flour
3/4 c buckwheat flour
2 c rolled oats
1/4 granulated sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

How to:

Combine all dry ingredients in a bowl; mix well to combine.

Wet ingredients
1/2 c melted butter
1 egg
1 ripe banana, mashed
1/3 c almond milk

Mix the wet ingredients well, until there are no lumps.

Add to dry ingredients, and stir until it’s all combined. Separate the dough into 24 two-inch balls. (OK, the first two scones were MEGA… just too big—trust me: 2 inches is plenty…) Flatten half the balls into circles on a baking sheet.

Spoon a heaping half tablespoon of fig butter into the centre of the circle.

Flatten another ball of dough out into a circle in your hands, and drape it over the fig mound, patting the edges to enclose the fig mix completely.

Repeat until they’re all done… and bake at 425°F for 15 minutes (or until golden brown on top).

I’m pretty excited about the way these turned out… but there’s one problem: how will I stop myself from eating the leftover fig butter straight from the bowl??

UPDATE! The day after, these are still yummy, but the scone part is a touch dry if not bitten with the figgy filling. I guess that’s what the leftover fig butter is for, though with the understanding that it’s calorie- and sugar-dense!!