Hi, I’m Stephanie. That’s my shoulder at the top of Mount Maunganui, but most of the time I’m hanging out in Canada. I’m a Montrealer, but I’ve been West for 12 of the last 14 years, all spent in Alberta and BC… so while I have never really become a Westerner, I’ve had some of my most pivotal experiences way out here.

I woke up two birthdays ago and did my usual stock-taking, and knew that a change had to happen… and this blog is a part of that. I’ve been a fattish kid, I’ve been a healthy kid, I’ve been balanced, I’ve been off-kilter. I am very goal-oriented and always looked at the end point—something achievable—but the stumper is that sometimes it’s about the process.

I think healthy living isn’t a goal, in the end, and it took me a long time to understand that. I “achieved” a healthy-living lifestyle three years ago, and then I let an insane workload drive me off the path. Partly, this was the result of a typical phenomenon in my line of work, but I also think I let it happen because of the word “achieved”. I acted like healthy living was like any other goal that I could put a check-mark beside… Oops.

I’ve repented, seen the light, and made the switch—-well, I’m trying to. The tricky part is that I have fun in the extremes, and I thrive on pulling off the impossible. But my body has become less forgiving since I passed 30, and it’s sure to be even less so as time and I march onward together. It’s time for me to start spending more time with moderation, and maybe even learn to love it!

Update! 8 August 2011

Well, that was a nice thought. I wrote my “About” when I started the blog, thinking that I had answers to an impossibly demanding career and a life of extremes. Instead, I got my a$$ kicked… right into unemployment. And here I sit, for the first time having the time and ability to engage in some intense self-reflection and realising that that’s really scary. I used to know myself, but I think my flirtation with extremes has brought me to a whole new place. I want to go back to what I was—but as a now former History prof, I have to say, “the past is over. Move on”. Can I?

I’m left wondering now if I have to learn a new normal. Or if I can, with the right kind of healing, go back to the self I was when things felt right… I’m doing it from Brazil, and living the exact opposite life of what I had a few months ago. I was all work. Now, I’ve got nothing but time. I was barely able to sleep or find time to exercise. Now, I wake up sans alarm clock every day, and have the luxury of spending 2 hours at the gym if I want to. I was living without social ties but with a lot of control over my personal space, but now I sleep on an inflatable bed in my friend’s living room (but, still: in BRAZIL, right?) and I have good friends here—more in the 7 weeks I’ve been in São Paulo than in my 4 years in northern BC.

In a lot of ways, I’ve fallen off the wagon of achievement and progress. But maybe the result will be something better… and as I make my way, I’m writing some stuff here about food (love!), about exercise (love!), about learning some balance and healthy living (still—ugh!). For the first time in my life, I have absolutely no clue what will happen in the next year. Maybe, for a change, more balance than extreme?
Thanks for visiting!